so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
