...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
