i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
