i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
