i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize