Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
