So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
is it fun? or sober?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
