its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize