I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
