Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
