I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
