I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
