Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
