Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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