Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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