Cold hands, warm shart.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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