he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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