Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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