Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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