You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
