I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
