New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
