how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
