People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
