He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize