With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Randomize
