hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
