Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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