Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize