She's JV to your varsity
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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