The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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