I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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