We won't sleep together?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize