Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
