stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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