We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
