you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
