Porn is love you can see.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
