you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
