But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
