shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Where is the hickey?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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