Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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