We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Houston, we have a blender
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
