Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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