It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize