he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
