Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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