whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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