Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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