I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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