Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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