Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I want to make a zoo with you.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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