there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
