you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
