Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
