the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize