I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
