New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
