she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
