Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
