How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just pee around me
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
